Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Curious Case of Me Bawling in Benjamin Button



From multiple sources of mine (i refuse to name names), i was under the impression that Benjamin Button was an overlong, mediocre turd of a movie. But i wanted to like it for a handful of reasons (my affinity for sweeping romances, David Fincher, Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett and Forrest Gump - which, admittedly, this film resembles in a number of cases). Ok, i'll name names: Roger Ebert is completely dismissive (he doesn't even mention Cate Blanchett, let alone anything beyond the concept). He misses the point, however. The moment where everything fell in to place for me i will retell right here, for Mr. Ebert's sake.

Benjamin, at age 7, living in a retirement home because he resembles a geriatric, explains his reverse-aging to a fellow resident. In reflecting back on the conversation he doesn't remember the woman's name but he does recall she taught him how to play piano. After he tells her of his condition she says she pities him, "to have to see everyone you love, die before you. That would be an awful responsibility." I sit in the theater and think to myself, 'that is terrible.' Benjamin had never thought about it this way. She sees his thoughtful stare, "Benjamin ... we're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?" I was sad for Benjamin having to go through life the way he does. But in a split second i realized how unfairly appropriate this is. I thought about losing my grandmother last year, and my 20-year-old cousin the year before that. That pain all rushed back as the next scene announced the passing of that dear old woman who taught Benjamin to play piano. They didn't show her in the coffin in the cemetery. Because she wasn't in there. Aaron was. Gramma Smoot was. And i realized that i felt more connected to the plight of that hideous CGI-ed geriatric Brad Pitt than any other character i had seen on screen in many a long while. I wept several times during the movie. Bawled like a helpless infant. I haven't been moved to tears like that by a film in a long while either. Good thing i saw it by myself. It was pretty goddamn embarrassing.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wanders through life, rarely peaking with the dramatic intensity we've become accustomed to in epic romances (no yelling matches between lovers ending in ecstatic sex - no yelling of any kind really). Its understated tone made the simplistic love story all the more devastating for me. Instead of leaving my wife and child for fear that i will end up burdening them as i regress in age, i'll probably just get divorced like most. And i'll be left sending postcards to my daughter from the faraway lands that i selfishly pursue. I only hope, after all that, i can have someone there for me at the end. Whether its an old love or my daughter. Going out the same way i came in: surrounded by love. Oh, did i mention this movie is kind of corny sometimes too? That may be affecting my writing about it ... maybe.

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